I had a punwar tonight. There were no survivors.
It all started with a couple of friends at dinner. We were making farm animals puns, nothing too serious. After thinking a bit, I said
“Let’s not get cow’t up in this, we otter move onto marine mammal puns. Those have a little more depth.”
In that moment, time froze, and my compatriot’s faces began to roll like the surface of boiling water. Their flesh aged a hundred years in an instant and their eyeballs expanded and burst from their sockets. Their tongues became giant maggots and their stomachs inverted through their navels.
Suddenly, silence.
When the cloud of steam rising off of them settled, I didn’t know what to do.
I stood, still alive, but I thought…
“All’s whale that ends whale.”
And then the police shot me for negligent wordslaughter.
Profanity Filter Testing Domain 