Wow guys. Check out this non-promotional non-scam I just discovered. I just bought my 8th car (a 2018 Honda WRX GTi) and I’m going to make money owning it. Can you believe that? A depreciating asset with high operating costs purchased on credit and I’m still making money? It sounds unbelievable!
Last month (my first month of operation), my fleet grossed over $800 revenue. Eight. Hundred. Dollars. FOR FREE! All I had to do was purchase the vehicles, buy personal and commercial insurance, spring for all the maintenance, and personally deliver, retrieve, and account for each one on top of holding my day job! And the best part is that Turo provides everything I need to do this for only 15% more than market price – all I have to do is accept 100% of the liability.
So, how can you make money owning your dream car? It’s simple, just learn the six core tenets of the Sharing Economy:
- All revenue is profit.
- Cashflow and opportunity cost are myths invented by the government.
- The only costs are the ones listed on your monthly loan/lease bill.
- Nothing bad ever happens to rented property.
- Rental prices never decrease, regardless of the asset’s value.
- All debt is good debt, there is no limit on how much you can or should hold.
With that in mind, search Turo in your area to see what’s popular. Make a spreadsheet of the most popular models and try to get an average of prices and rentals per year. Multiply the number of rentals by three, then multiply that by the price – that’s your best-case **profit**. Print that spreadsheet out so you have concrete evidence of what cars are the most valuable.
It’s probably Corollas and minivans, so fuck that. Tear up your spreadsheet and start shopping for cars you’ve only ever considered owning if you won the lottery. You can lease a Maserati Panamera RS7 for only $850/mo with 0 down, and rent it out for $999 per day. Can you imagine how fast that would pay for itself? I’m not sure, but it’s probably as fast as the RS7’s roarin’ inline-7 turbocharged hyperdrive. After all, the rest is pure profit, you’re hypothetically getting paid enough to own a second copy just by hypothetically renting out the first one.
In my case, this is exactly what I did. I started off with a modest $500/mo payment on my Ford Camaro SRT-8, and expected such great returns that I bought a Tesla the next day. That was only 20 days ago, and I’m already up to 8 cars. Soon, I’ll quit my day job to take on renting full-time, working a sweet 10-hour week and raking in literally millions. It’s a good idea to plan ahead for this, as you’ll want to prepare a solid “shove it up your ass” speech to present to your boss. You’re your own boss now.
I’m not writing this article to brag, of course, even though my projections show that I’ll be a millionaire within the year. I’m here to let you know that Turo is a 100% benevolent entity who absolutely did not pay me to write positive things about them. The Sharing Economy is a perfect meritocracy that rewards the Best People by helping them Get Rich Quick with practically no effort, all it takes is a pulse and a bank account!
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