Top 3 Things I HATE about being a Famous Billionaire Genius

by Cody Whiteman, aka Balltapper96

What’s up Youtube, it’s ya boy Cody Whiteman comin’ at you with the top three things I hate about being a billionaire who is also famous and a genius. Don’t forget to smash that like button if you wanna see more content like this, and check out my e-store for all my official merch. We just got in these new t-shirts with my face on them, and I am LOVING the design. Anyway, here’s three things I HATE about being a famous billionaire genius.

ONE: The social media attention

Oh man. I can’t tell you enough how big a deal this is. It feels like every other day I’m on twitter having to defend myself from some trolls coming after me with FAKE and BULLSHIT accusations of libel. Just last week I was harassed off the internet forever just because some faggots thought I shouldn’t be sharing links to my local conversion camp. Like, it’s freedom of speech, dudes. We need to hear both sides.

And I’m under constant scrutiny from the media for everything I say. You call a disabled veteran a “retarded pedophile” ONE TIME and everyone is on your ass forever. Ugh. Like, how about you cover the real stories, mainstream media? How about the UNION WORKER who VICIOUSLY burned down his own house, killing his wife and children JUST because I fired him for refusing unpaid overtime. And THEN he went and talked to the media about it and blamed my private hit squad like a FUCKING CUNT!?

Seriously guys, don’t become a famous billionaire genius. It’s such a hassle.

TWO: The long hours

This is a big one for me. I’m a hard worker; I spend the vast majority of my time dedicated to growing my startups and helping foster new business. Creating jobs is a passion of mine, which is why I try to delegate as much as possible.

My typical weekday begins with a strenuous series of meetings with my smoothie master, masseuse, guru and cocaine dealer. She’s great. Amazing tits, a bit of a mouth on her, though. After that, there’s my 11 a.m. boxing training where I fight my underperforming subordinates (obviously, they’re not allowed to win), followed by lunch. I try to work in an all-natural diet with plenty of gold and infant blood, which is a whole other deal with the bleeding hearts. The PC police, am I right?

Then, at 3, I get on my private jet and fly to my important meetings with local government to convince them to subsidize my lifestyle. This is a huge deal, because if I don’t manage to sell those dumbfucks enough wampam beads, I won’t be able to send my boys to an all-white boarding school. Seriously, this is a major stressor in my life because I constantly have to worry about their wellbeing, in addition to making major negotiations against strangers with no money or power. It’s so sad to even have to look at them.

At 4 p.m., I fly back and begin my de-stressing routine. During this time, I’m not allowed to use my own muscles, because my servants carry me everywhere. It’s a major inconvenience, because there’s so much I COULD be doing on twitter or Call of Duty, but my assistant stopped letting me dictate my tweets because she’s a bitch. Of course, this is followed by a short course of tweeting until 9 pm, when I enter my stasis chamber in order to wake up maximally refreshed the next morning. I just wish I had more time.

THREE: Always being the smartest guy in the room

A major problem with being both a billionaire and a genius is that everyone is always trying to question you, and they’re always wrong. There’s a simple, biological reality here: if I have more money than you, it means I have better ideas than you. I don’t understand why people don’t get that. There are just so many important, global-scale ideas bouncing around in my head at any time that it’s just ridiculous to ask me to explain myself. I keep a rotating schedule of idea-catchers, hired out of key doctoral positions at universities (aka brainwashing factories) to try to teach them a thing or two about being a genius. They are complaining CONSTANTLY, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Like, I’m paying you a million dollars to write my idea down, not tell me about some quantum thermal proffessory bullshit.

And then there’s the meetings! Don’t get me started. I have to fire at least two advisors a day for this alone. It’s like the underlings never learn, but I guess that’s just typical poor-brain. Sometimes when I’m feeling generous, I’ll just attack their appearance and call their work “what would happen if a dog at shit, then got eaten by a shark and the shark pooped out the shit and it got infested by flesh eating-bacteria, and then they ate it and died”. I don’t want to hear poor’s ideas, that’s why I have a strict “no feedback” rule for my own statements in meetings.

There sure are some major annoyances with being a genius.

Conclusion.

That about wraps it up for my top three worst things about being a megafamous genius trillionaire. Oh, did I mention I’m a trillionaire now? Just lied to some investor chumps and it pushed me over the edge.

As you can see, it’s not all luxury and glory. There are plenty of downsides to being wealthy and famous and intelligent, so make your decisions carefully.

Don’t forget to smash that like button and hit subscribe for more content like this, and check out my latest video “INSANE PRANK DUDE SMASHES FERRARI” on my second channel. Peace!